The sick child and the white vulture

painter. gab. may 05
Its time to draw this little crack. This child, this little saint is the main actor in some of my worst nightmares. The Child never smiles. He has huge, blue eyes, the whole sky reflects in them. He kills other children or young animals and i am usually the only vitness. I'm never able to stop him. Afterwards he tells me: "You're responsible for me. I am sick. You have to give me the propper treatment." He pretends to be my younger brother and everybody believes him. I am the only one who knows, that he's dangerous, that the saint is a monster. I already gave him a name. Maybe drawing him gets him under control...
this is already the second time i draw the face. Before that - he was looking up, but it didnt look like him at all. I dont know yet, what expression i give him. For color-reference I wanted the picture on the right side. Since the first portrait didnt work out, i took a close look for facial features + lightening at the left picture. Both by the incredible Helnwein. The children he portraits always reminded me of this little creep. I pictured this portrait emerging from a white background, but for me, that's too difficult to do from the beginning... I always see this child with very high contrasts and in bluish tones, usually blood somewhere. i've never seen him at night. No idea, how to make his hair blond in this color scheme. I dont like the colors, but this picture isnt about something i like.
I should work on the vulture more, because thats the hardest part. + the throat of the child is too smushy. This face is perfect for a questioning or an amused expression, but I want him WITHOUT ANY Expression. he's not wondering, he's not thinking, not feeling bad or good. I'm the one who has to feel for this fck. Hes just there. ... Darn. I need another break. this kills me. I actually just wanted to talk about techniques and some reasons here.

See, I still dont dare to work on the vulture. i worked on the vulture's outlining background, but then i went back to the face. At one point, i colored everything, thats red or reddisch in violet. But that looked too much like a LSD - party picture. i still hate the colors. His look is too direct, but he becomes the saint, everybody believes he is.
the animal will mess everything up. i like artifical hair, but im not sure, if it will work out here. I want his mouth somewhat between this and the last version + his eyes are still askew...

oh no, i mistook part of the clothing for the vulture's neck. i knew, the animal would mess everything up. i start do dislike the picture, but i guess, that's normal for my way of painting. Still, the hands are too old. they're supposed to look more cruel than those of children, but still not worker/priest/grown-up like. more like a sly student's hands...
I really wish, my nightmares would be like the nightmares i usually draw. monsters. tentacles. but they're mostely bright. THATS, how i had it in mind. but so much work is lost in those contrasts. I still have this picture in mind with more light. the face emerging from the white background. Like something, you created with... it doesnt matter.

That seems to be done. I let it like this for one week and have a look at it next weekend. maybe i see, what's missing. Especially, what i can change about the bird.
I cant leave this picture alone. again, i worked on it. details. a lot of details.